I'm back, briefly. Just a quick update for my rabid fans (snicker) I took a 3 month contract with the govenemnt, and asked my current job to give me that time off and they instead said go to hell, so I quit.
So i'm free from here, yay! But i'm unemployed in January, UH-oh! At this point in my life I had to take the gamble, and can only pray that I can get something longer term while i'm in. Going to be scary but exciting.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Work hurts my heart
I'm at a cross roads of sort and I haven't got a clue how to deal with it. I really want to tell my job "go to hell, I’m not working weekends or evenings anymore, deal with it" but might get fired. Let me explain the back story:
I've been working at DirectBuy for 5 years. In that time I’ve worked almost every position in the store, and am easily one of the most useful bodies onsite. My focus lately has been assistant service manager (which is a retarded title because a) there's no service manager any more, so who am I assisting? and b) I've been given all kinds of other responsibilities on top of the service area, so it certainly doesn’t do justice to what I do.
When my daughter Aurora was born I took 6 months off the be with her, something I am very happy I did as I think I have a better bond than some dads, and understand the "stay at home crazies" better than a lot of guys do. After I came back from this i was working as the assistant service manager, not working evenings or weekends, and it was good.
After about a year and half, they asked me to start working weekends and evenings. I said yes because a) it wasn't many weekends and b) it wasn't many evenings and c) I did think it was fair that i take part of the load. As these things happen though, they've started adding more and more. It's not tragic or anything - I’ve worked 8 out of the last 22 weekend days - but it is bothering me. Particularly because service doesn't have anything to do with the weekends. There are 2 managers (one accounting, one HR (although really, she just does everything)) that never work weekends or evenings. The argument is that their positions don't require weekend days. Well why the hell does mine then? Service doesn't need to be their on the weekends any more than those two do.
Baby number 2 is enroute and the pressure from the wife is building that she needs me at home because she's not taken being pregnant well and really can't handle the current child alone that well. I don't know what my own rights are and what the stores rights are. I like to think that even with restrictions on my availability I'm worth keeping - I give a lot to this store, and bring a lot to the table.
This kind of came to head when I sent an email to my boss and another manager and basically said "me and this other manager have been working more weekends lately, so I'm hitting you a bit harder on the next schedule". I was just trying to explain why she had an abnormal amount of weekends coming up. Well she blew up and sent me a rather unprofessional email, which just stressed me the hell out, and said she'd do the schedule from now on to ensure it's "fair". So now what? There's nothing in paper anywhere about my job and what hours are required for this position, so can they say "these hours are a necessity, work them or you are fired"? I think they can. Although the job was worked for quite a while without this being a necessity, so is that an argument that it's just them being pissy??
Would they fire me though? That's more the rub. To be honest, I can't see getting another job with the hours flexibility that this brings - i think i could get close to the same coin, but would probably have to work even more evenings/weekends. So why am i fighting this so hard? Mostly its the unfairness of it all - why should I have to work these shifts when other managers who are no higher on the totem than me don't.
It's extra frustrating because working evenings and weekends basically eliminates productivity from me, and often I'm to busy to want to lose this productivity doing, you know, my job. It's wasted time and that's frustrating when one major complaint is we take to long to deal with things. We'd take less time if our managment team wasn't wasting time workings evenings and weekends that all we are there for is to say "there there there" to members. half the time i work reception while someone types order, the other half of the time I wander the floor just helping members, something that any number of trained staff should be able to do. There's no reason why the team leads can't just take the information from the angry person and let them know they will get a call back on Monday.
So how hard can I fight this, and how far should I fight this? that's the question. I'm a reasonbly smart guy but labour laws are like mumbo jumbo to me. I'll keep looking though to see if i can hammer out what rights I actually have in regards to schedule. I'm pretty sure workers don't have much rights though.
I've been working at DirectBuy for 5 years. In that time I’ve worked almost every position in the store, and am easily one of the most useful bodies onsite. My focus lately has been assistant service manager (which is a retarded title because a) there's no service manager any more, so who am I assisting? and b) I've been given all kinds of other responsibilities on top of the service area, so it certainly doesn’t do justice to what I do.
When my daughter Aurora was born I took 6 months off the be with her, something I am very happy I did as I think I have a better bond than some dads, and understand the "stay at home crazies" better than a lot of guys do. After I came back from this i was working as the assistant service manager, not working evenings or weekends, and it was good.
After about a year and half, they asked me to start working weekends and evenings. I said yes because a) it wasn't many weekends and b) it wasn't many evenings and c) I did think it was fair that i take part of the load. As these things happen though, they've started adding more and more. It's not tragic or anything - I’ve worked 8 out of the last 22 weekend days - but it is bothering me. Particularly because service doesn't have anything to do with the weekends. There are 2 managers (one accounting, one HR (although really, she just does everything)) that never work weekends or evenings. The argument is that their positions don't require weekend days. Well why the hell does mine then? Service doesn't need to be their on the weekends any more than those two do.
Baby number 2 is enroute and the pressure from the wife is building that she needs me at home because she's not taken being pregnant well and really can't handle the current child alone that well. I don't know what my own rights are and what the stores rights are. I like to think that even with restrictions on my availability I'm worth keeping - I give a lot to this store, and bring a lot to the table.
This kind of came to head when I sent an email to my boss and another manager and basically said "me and this other manager have been working more weekends lately, so I'm hitting you a bit harder on the next schedule". I was just trying to explain why she had an abnormal amount of weekends coming up. Well she blew up and sent me a rather unprofessional email, which just stressed me the hell out, and said she'd do the schedule from now on to ensure it's "fair". So now what? There's nothing in paper anywhere about my job and what hours are required for this position, so can they say "these hours are a necessity, work them or you are fired"? I think they can. Although the job was worked for quite a while without this being a necessity, so is that an argument that it's just them being pissy??
Would they fire me though? That's more the rub. To be honest, I can't see getting another job with the hours flexibility that this brings - i think i could get close to the same coin, but would probably have to work even more evenings/weekends. So why am i fighting this so hard? Mostly its the unfairness of it all - why should I have to work these shifts when other managers who are no higher on the totem than me don't.
It's extra frustrating because working evenings and weekends basically eliminates productivity from me, and often I'm to busy to want to lose this productivity doing, you know, my job. It's wasted time and that's frustrating when one major complaint is we take to long to deal with things. We'd take less time if our managment team wasn't wasting time workings evenings and weekends that all we are there for is to say "there there there" to members. half the time i work reception while someone types order, the other half of the time I wander the floor just helping members, something that any number of trained staff should be able to do. There's no reason why the team leads can't just take the information from the angry person and let them know they will get a call back on Monday.
So how hard can I fight this, and how far should I fight this? that's the question. I'm a reasonbly smart guy but labour laws are like mumbo jumbo to me. I'll keep looking though to see if i can hammer out what rights I actually have in regards to schedule. I'm pretty sure workers don't have much rights though.
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Ring around the rosey
Nursery rhymes are just creepy. Sometimes creepier than the average person knows. Take this one:
Ring around the rosey
Pocket full of posey
Husha hush (alternatives include Ashes Ashes and A-tchoo A-tchoo)
We all fall down
I play this game with my little girl - we sing this song and walk in a circle and fall down when we hit the end and giggle. She'd do it all day long if i let her. Lots of kids do this.
What they don't know is that this is in direct reference to the black Plague. Perhaps you've hear of it? Wiped out like 2/3 of Europe back in the day. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing as a whole (see below) but i'm sure the people who died from it wouldn't have warm and squishy feelings about us singing it as a nursery rhyme.
The "ring around the rosey" refers the one of the first symptoms, which is a lymph node that gets infected and swells up and, you guessed it, forms a nice ring around the rosy pissed off flesh.
Pocket full of posey refers to the fact that people carried flowers that were supposed to protect them because they thought that the disease was carried by the bad smell. God we were (and probably are still) a stupid stupid race.
Husha husha refers to the lungs shutting down, which you know, generally leads to death, and also was the main reason most of these people died (well, for some versions of the plague. Not worth getting to specific, just trust me on this). Ashes Ashes could refer to the fact that the only thing they could do was burn the corpse's and hope. A-tchoo works also as sneezing was another symptom as well.
And we all fall down = Europe dieing.
Makes it that much more creepy.
I'll go into why it wasn't really a bad thing some other time.
Ring around the rosey
Pocket full of posey
Husha hush (alternatives include Ashes Ashes and A-tchoo A-tchoo)
We all fall down
I play this game with my little girl - we sing this song and walk in a circle and fall down when we hit the end and giggle. She'd do it all day long if i let her. Lots of kids do this.
What they don't know is that this is in direct reference to the black Plague. Perhaps you've hear of it? Wiped out like 2/3 of Europe back in the day. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing as a whole (see below) but i'm sure the people who died from it wouldn't have warm and squishy feelings about us singing it as a nursery rhyme.
The "ring around the rosey" refers the one of the first symptoms, which is a lymph node that gets infected and swells up and, you guessed it, forms a nice ring around the rosy pissed off flesh.
Pocket full of posey refers to the fact that people carried flowers that were supposed to protect them because they thought that the disease was carried by the bad smell. God we were (and probably are still) a stupid stupid race.
Husha husha refers to the lungs shutting down, which you know, generally leads to death, and also was the main reason most of these people died (well, for some versions of the plague. Not worth getting to specific, just trust me on this). Ashes Ashes could refer to the fact that the only thing they could do was burn the corpse's and hope. A-tchoo works also as sneezing was another symptom as well.
And we all fall down = Europe dieing.
Makes it that much more creepy.
I'll go into why it wasn't really a bad thing some other time.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Serious thoughts (morose semi-drunk ramblings)
I just spent the last 10 minutes in the room with my daughter - she woke up whimpering and holding her tummy. Took about 10 minutes of love and a shot of Tylenol to settle her back down. It's amazing and scary how much I love that little girl.
It scares me because I fear I'm over investing in her because she's all I have. I'm the only parent with a hope of not smothering the hell out of her, so she can't afford for me to be this way too.
I'm at about the worst place I've ever been in the self worth department. I'm fatter than I've ever been, I feel trapped and hopeless in the job I'm at - it pays the bills at this point, but it's still a job, not a career. I'm a (almost)35 year old working a job, not a career. And it pays the bills now, but kid number 2 is en route and they are both going to need so much when they get older, and I want to be that parent who can actually provide that. I don't hate it, if i did it would be easier, but I don't see it growing the way I need it to grow to keep up with my family. And the wife is mean every time I have to work and evening or weekend, which then puts me in a "chose work or chose family" mode which just makes me miserable.
Problem is I've stopped even looking for a new job as I can't even muster up the feeling to invest myself in anther 30 minute long prepping of an resume and answering the same stupid questions for the federal government in a pointless attempt at getting to the ever loving interview stage, which if i pass that will actually get me into a pool, which if someone sees something of worth in there they will then interview me from that pool. I got into two pools, and had a real job interview for both, and failed both, and i have to admit it really knocked me down. I know, I know, suck it up champ, get back in the game, keep trying, insert other pathetic platitudes here (as long as they come with the music from Rocky 4 and i can scream DRAGO at the end, then sure, I'm in). I don't know what happened. I used to have energy and will to keep trying at least, but those last two interviews that i didn't get the job really did something inside, and I can't seem to fix it. But there's the rub - i can't seem to find the motivation to try to fix it. I'm not even trying to fix the problem, so how can i say I can't fix it? This then increases my own self loathing, which then makes me even less likely to try and fix it, and round and round we go in a whirlpool of laziness and self loathing and all these other jumbled up crappy emotions.
I can't tell if the relationship problems with the wife are feeding this cycle, or if this cycle is feeding the relationship problems. We are barely civil at this point most days. She's pregnant and sick and expects me to do all the house stuff, and I'm finding it so hard to even muster up any caring for that. It's not like I ever feel like I did a good thing - I can do 95% of what she wants done, and she'll bitch about the last 5%, so why not stop at 50% and get the same bitching while at least deserving it in my own mind? It's so hard to figure out if she's right, or I'm right, or if it's some grey muddy answer in the middle. Lazy thinking would indicate the answer is in the middle, but the small part of me that is self righteous really doesn't think I'm not doing my share.
I noticed that I looked like shit today at work. I've got bags and wrinkles coming in around my eyes, and those really bothered me. Abnormally much - i can't really put my finger consciously on what upset me so much. My eye's looked much older than I think i should be.
I see a possible escape, but I'm to scared to take it. I need to quit my job. I would then have no choice, and some time, to look for something better. But what if i didn't find better? What if i actually downgraded and ended up seeing my daughter less than i do now? Is it worth the gamble? What if i make it worse trying to make it better. I don't want to make Aurora's live worse by trying to make it better. At this point I really don't care about liking my job, I've given up on that. I just want to make enough money to support this family properly.
People do this with far less, and I have no idea how. hat's off to them. It really is true the more you make the more you want, so maybe I just need to shut it down.
It's late, I'm tired and my loyal followers (snicker) are bored to death by this point (actually by about lets say 9 paragraphs ago) so I'd better depart. I promise to try and post something funny or at least controversial tomorrow instead of whining about my problems. Don't give up on the blog. Even daring to whine about my life just makes me feel worse - I've got it so sweet compared to most, shut the hell up and be happy you stupid shit. I swear, I need a partial lobotomy. I'm too smart to be content, but not smart enough to figure a way out, and that's just a dangerous combination.
It scares me because I fear I'm over investing in her because she's all I have. I'm the only parent with a hope of not smothering the hell out of her, so she can't afford for me to be this way too.
I'm at about the worst place I've ever been in the self worth department. I'm fatter than I've ever been, I feel trapped and hopeless in the job I'm at - it pays the bills at this point, but it's still a job, not a career. I'm a (almost)35 year old working a job, not a career. And it pays the bills now, but kid number 2 is en route and they are both going to need so much when they get older, and I want to be that parent who can actually provide that. I don't hate it, if i did it would be easier, but I don't see it growing the way I need it to grow to keep up with my family. And the wife is mean every time I have to work and evening or weekend, which then puts me in a "chose work or chose family" mode which just makes me miserable.
Problem is I've stopped even looking for a new job as I can't even muster up the feeling to invest myself in anther 30 minute long prepping of an resume and answering the same stupid questions for the federal government in a pointless attempt at getting to the ever loving interview stage, which if i pass that will actually get me into a pool, which if someone sees something of worth in there they will then interview me from that pool. I got into two pools, and had a real job interview for both, and failed both, and i have to admit it really knocked me down. I know, I know, suck it up champ, get back in the game, keep trying, insert other pathetic platitudes here (as long as they come with the music from Rocky 4 and i can scream DRAGO at the end, then sure, I'm in). I don't know what happened. I used to have energy and will to keep trying at least, but those last two interviews that i didn't get the job really did something inside, and I can't seem to fix it. But there's the rub - i can't seem to find the motivation to try to fix it. I'm not even trying to fix the problem, so how can i say I can't fix it? This then increases my own self loathing, which then makes me even less likely to try and fix it, and round and round we go in a whirlpool of laziness and self loathing and all these other jumbled up crappy emotions.
I can't tell if the relationship problems with the wife are feeding this cycle, or if this cycle is feeding the relationship problems. We are barely civil at this point most days. She's pregnant and sick and expects me to do all the house stuff, and I'm finding it so hard to even muster up any caring for that. It's not like I ever feel like I did a good thing - I can do 95% of what she wants done, and she'll bitch about the last 5%, so why not stop at 50% and get the same bitching while at least deserving it in my own mind? It's so hard to figure out if she's right, or I'm right, or if it's some grey muddy answer in the middle. Lazy thinking would indicate the answer is in the middle, but the small part of me that is self righteous really doesn't think I'm not doing my share.
I noticed that I looked like shit today at work. I've got bags and wrinkles coming in around my eyes, and those really bothered me. Abnormally much - i can't really put my finger consciously on what upset me so much. My eye's looked much older than I think i should be.
I see a possible escape, but I'm to scared to take it. I need to quit my job. I would then have no choice, and some time, to look for something better. But what if i didn't find better? What if i actually downgraded and ended up seeing my daughter less than i do now? Is it worth the gamble? What if i make it worse trying to make it better. I don't want to make Aurora's live worse by trying to make it better. At this point I really don't care about liking my job, I've given up on that. I just want to make enough money to support this family properly.
People do this with far less, and I have no idea how. hat's off to them. It really is true the more you make the more you want, so maybe I just need to shut it down.
It's late, I'm tired and my loyal followers (snicker) are bored to death by this point (actually by about lets say 9 paragraphs ago) so I'd better depart. I promise to try and post something funny or at least controversial tomorrow instead of whining about my problems. Don't give up on the blog. Even daring to whine about my life just makes me feel worse - I've got it so sweet compared to most, shut the hell up and be happy you stupid shit. I swear, I need a partial lobotomy. I'm too smart to be content, but not smart enough to figure a way out, and that's just a dangerous combination.
Carseat!
The frozen Tallywackers (Bloodbowl post)
The below is Bloodbowl stuff - if you don't know the game, the below will probably mean a whole lot of nothing to you, although you may still be able to appreciate the Penis names - who doesn't like a whole lotta Penis jokes?
Anyways, yeah, making a team like this for the bloodbowl league i play in is my version of funny.
The Frozen Tallywackers
This proud and mighty Norse team has recently sprung into action in the OFTL with the aim of penetrating the OFL in season 5, and that wish has been granted. This team makes no bones about being bigger, tougher and meaner than the opposition, and has an impressive record of 10-3-3 in the little leagues. The coaches’ very aggressive style has thus far worked, as he keeps thrusting his boys deep into the thick of things and then having his way with the opposition.
Roster and notables:
Beefwhistle, the resident bruiser zerker. Had a total of 19 cas (2 deaths) and 15 KO's in 16 OFTL games. Holds (to my knowledge) a record of 6 cas in one game.
Tripod, the secondary zerker. Not as mean (yet) as beefwhistle, but harder to pin down and still dangerous on his own (6 cas and 6 TD's in OFTL)
Jackhammer and Lovemuscle, the resident strongmen. These guys bring some much needed STR and guard to the table. 7 Cas (2 deaths) between the 2 of em. Jack is noteworthy as the single guy on the team without block
Unr Kegsplitter, the Yehtee. He's only just got the skills to come into his own having just gained MB in game 15 after getting block on his first level up. I expect his prescense to be felt strongly as long as he lives now that he is a blocking, MBing, Clawing, Frenzying beast. Oh, the name means "big hairy balls" in norse. Really. It's not just that i forgot to give him a dick name. Really. I'm most proud of the 2 TD's i scored with him - both were kicks off the field that i gave to him and pounded up the field, blitzing anyone within reach and sometimes just walking (and failing due to wild animal).
Yogurt Gun and Skin flute, the thrower/runner combo. Really didn't focus on these guys in the OFTL, a fact that may come back to bite me in the ass. Still, they have enough basic skills to at least pose a scoring threat.
RIP the linemen Babyarm, One eyed trouser snake, Willy, Johnson and Todger, lost in the 16 games leading up to the OFL, and surely soon to be joined by others.
Long live Twig and berries who is my only lineman with 16 games under his belt, he's a wily survivor with the only stat increase on the team, a +1 AG.
One eyed trouser snakes brother, the second willy, Todger the second, Bigger Johnson, Donger and Joystick round out the rest of the crew that the apothocary will never ever ever be used on
This proud and mighty Norse team has recently sprung into action in the OFTL with the aim of penetrating the OFL in season 5, and that wish has been granted. This team makes no bones about being bigger, tougher and meaner than the opposition, and has an impressive record of 10-3-3 in the little leagues. The coaches’ very aggressive style has thus far worked, as he keeps thrusting his boys deep into the thick of things and then having his way with the opposition.
Roster and notables:
Beefwhistle, the resident bruiser zerker. Had a total of 19 cas (2 deaths) and 15 KO's in 16 OFTL games. Holds (to my knowledge) a record of 6 cas in one game.
Tripod, the secondary zerker. Not as mean (yet) as beefwhistle, but harder to pin down and still dangerous on his own (6 cas and 6 TD's in OFTL)
Jackhammer and Lovemuscle, the resident strongmen. These guys bring some much needed STR and guard to the table. 7 Cas (2 deaths) between the 2 of em. Jack is noteworthy as the single guy on the team without block
Unr Kegsplitter, the Yehtee. He's only just got the skills to come into his own having just gained MB in game 15 after getting block on his first level up. I expect his prescense to be felt strongly as long as he lives now that he is a blocking, MBing, Clawing, Frenzying beast. Oh, the name means "big hairy balls" in norse. Really. It's not just that i forgot to give him a dick name. Really. I'm most proud of the 2 TD's i scored with him - both were kicks off the field that i gave to him and pounded up the field, blitzing anyone within reach and sometimes just walking (and failing due to wild animal).
Yogurt Gun and Skin flute, the thrower/runner combo. Really didn't focus on these guys in the OFTL, a fact that may come back to bite me in the ass. Still, they have enough basic skills to at least pose a scoring threat.
RIP the linemen Babyarm, One eyed trouser snake, Willy, Johnson and Todger, lost in the 16 games leading up to the OFL, and surely soon to be joined by others.
Long live Twig and berries who is my only lineman with 16 games under his belt, he's a wily survivor with the only stat increase on the team, a +1 AG.
One eyed trouser snakes brother, the second willy, Todger the second, Bigger Johnson, Donger and Joystick round out the rest of the crew that the apothocary will never ever ever be used on
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Timdog RBS - The Intro
Back in the day when i was young (gulp, over a decade ago. sigh, I HATE that I can refer to anything as "over a decade ago") I used to post incessantly on a friends website. From that experienced I learned that a) my opinion really isn't generally the social normal and b) unfortunately, this pisses some people off. It was entertaining for me however as i love a good argument and generally don't take differing views personally - it's OK that you are wrong, no reason for me to get all ornery about the fact that you are wrong. It's good enough for me to simply know that you are wrong, and to try and convince you that you wrong, and failing that simply act like a monkey and throw feces at you until you see my point or run away.
Would the word "poop" have been better used there than feces? I think the comedic value of poop would have been better there.
Regardless, I'm stupid enough to go ahead and try and share my sometimes unique, sometimes predictable, sometimes "just on the edge of brilliant", sometimes "good god how does that man's autonomic system remember to breath" ramblings to the world wide web.
RBS = random brain spew BTW
Take this as a warning - i will most likely spend too much time on bloodbowl (my only real hobby right now so yeah, I'm deep into it), my 3 year old daughter (pretty much all that keeps me breathing OTHER than bloodbowl), DirectBuy (I work there, and love and hate it at the same time) and then those topics that are reasonable sure to find me a letter bomb at some point in the future - my (and my wife's - she helped :)) idea on how to re-do the government of Canada so the percentage of voters matters, not the seats (seriously, we've got all the bugs worked out. Really.), why I would love to be a dictator (and think I'd be a darn good one) and probably a fair amount of semi-hidden not getting laid for like a freaking year sexual frustration.
Also, dignity is not something I really have anymore at this point in my life, so this will be very (possibly uncomfortably) honest.
I hope though i can get one or two of your neurons' electrons to spin in a different orbit, even if only for a millisecond, or at least give you chuckle.
Tim
Would the word "poop" have been better used there than feces? I think the comedic value of poop would have been better there.
Regardless, I'm stupid enough to go ahead and try and share my sometimes unique, sometimes predictable, sometimes "just on the edge of brilliant", sometimes "good god how does that man's autonomic system remember to breath" ramblings to the world wide web.
RBS = random brain spew BTW
Take this as a warning - i will most likely spend too much time on bloodbowl (my only real hobby right now so yeah, I'm deep into it), my 3 year old daughter (pretty much all that keeps me breathing OTHER than bloodbowl), DirectBuy (I work there, and love and hate it at the same time) and then those topics that are reasonable sure to find me a letter bomb at some point in the future - my (and my wife's - she helped :)) idea on how to re-do the government of Canada so the percentage of voters matters, not the seats (seriously, we've got all the bugs worked out. Really.), why I would love to be a dictator (and think I'd be a darn good one) and probably a fair amount of semi-hidden not getting laid for like a freaking year sexual frustration.
Also, dignity is not something I really have anymore at this point in my life, so this will be very (possibly uncomfortably) honest.
I hope though i can get one or two of your neurons' electrons to spin in a different orbit, even if only for a millisecond, or at least give you chuckle.
Tim
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